We've Made it a Whole Year!

One year. Wow! So much has happened. So many people have been in and out of my life, so many experiences have changed me. I would love to say I've accomplished all my goals. I wish I could say I've learned to be more patient. And more than anything I'd like to say we have all sorts of money saved up and I've been a good steward this past year.

I can say that one year ago, I looked at the road ahead of me with little hope of being able to make it to the end with my sanity in tact. 15 months with just me and the kids by ourselves. It's not been easy. We've all had many days we wished Daddy was here to be the buffer. Take the kids to the park so I can have some quiet! Help Louisa with math that I just do not understand. Take Drew to his martial arts classes. Play with Hunter because sometimes he just needs his daddy.

We've still got a little longer to go, but I wanted to acknowledge today. One year. One year since we left him in the parking lot in front of his company office building. One year since we saw all
those duffel bags and ruck sacks piled higher than the kids.

Drew stuff

Yesterday I was sitting here, on my computer, fiddling with the virus yet again when I heard a horrible scream from outside. I guessed it was Drew and jumped up to see what happened. He flew in here holding his finger up. Blood and skin were hanging all over. Very gross. He had pinched his finger in the stroller while he and Hunter were taking turns pushing eachother. When he yanked his finger free, he ripped the pad of the finger tip off. Kind of. It was hanging there still. Again, gross. I can not handle this stuff. There's a reason I never became a nurse like my mom.

We ran next door to ask the neighbors if they'd watch Hunter and Louisa, and Drew and I took off for the ER. Much unlike our last ER experience, we got in right away. They X-rayed his hand since his finger had been pinched. They told us a small piece of bone could break off and he'd never even know it. Luckily, no broken bone.

I think the absolute worst part of the whole thing was when the nurse was washing his finger. I held him to me very close and he screamed and cried. I can only imagine how horribly painful that was. She had to really get in there, under that flap of skin, and clean it all out good. My finger hurts just thinking of it!

The doctor came in (the same one I've had terrible experience with twice before!), and said "Oh, this won't need stitches! Just some glue!" The look on Drew's face was too funny. Glue?! On his finger?! LOL! And yes, they glued the skin down. I liked that. It was painless, and now dirt won't get in there. They gave him a bandage and we were on our way.

When we got home he had to run all over and show his friends his glued finger. He had stitches when he was 2-years-old in his head, but he doesn't remember. I'm so glad we didn't have to do that this time. He wouldn't have been near as willing as he was 5 years ago.

Antivirus 2009

Heard of it? If you have, you know how evil it is. If you haven't, update your computer's virus protector now, and don't buy the "protection" the virus tries to sell you if you do get it.
Here's what it is: Antivirus 2009
I'm praying it didn't do too much damage to my computer. It's still not all gone yet. And yes, totally my fault for not updating my virus protection. Stupid, stupid me.

In the meantime, the kids and I have a long week off school for Thanksgiving break. We've got lots of fun planned, starting with haircuts for all three kids today! Finally! I'll post a pic as soon as this nasty virus goes away.

Bye-Bye, Flashie

We loved him and played with him, but just couldn't train him like he deserved. So, because we loved him so much, we let him go. Hunter was the most sad of all of us. He cried and asked why Flashie didn't want to be with him anymore. I said Flashie loves him, but there's another family who loves Flashie just as much, and he'll have a doggie brother to play with now. Hunter seemed to accept that as okay. We went and met this new doggie brother and Hunter saw how well the two played together.

I'm sitting here staring at the empty spot where Flash's crate sat, knowing he's going to be just fine.

Bye-Bye, Flashie!

More "Things we do for our kids"

I'll just post a picture... that's all you need to get the point :)

Me with turtle shell on my back to show Hunter it wasn't scary.... Hunter wasn't even looking! ha!

The things we do for our kids...

I think that Sleep Deprivation has to be the #1 thing we do for our kids. Staying up late baking 4 dozen cupcakes for school, waking up early to finish painting the Humpty Dumpty costume, getting up numerous times in the middle of the night to fend off nightmares, take them to the bathroom, clean their throw up...
Friday night I had the Girl Scouts at our on-post Girl Scout Hut for a sleepover. Need I say more? Sleep Deprivation done with a smile just to see that smile on Louisa's face. And I'll do it again, and again, and again... for all three of them.

When Tragedy Strikes, the World Keeps Turning

It's so strange to think about how one family suffers tragedy too big to comprehend, and everyone else keeps moving. Their life has stopped, come to a complete standstill, while the rest of the world goes on with their daily business. And you think, How can you all keep moving?! Can't you see this family suffering?

I think about far away events like the collapse of the school in Haiti. All those families who have lost children. Some families lost more than one child, and nieces and nephews, and family friends, and.... Yet the world keeps turning.

Or tragedies closer to home like my sister's friend who was murdered a few nights ago. He knew there was trouble around. He knew someone had targeted his brother and brother's girlfriend. The police knew someone had targeted the couple, and were keeping in contact with them. But I don't think anyone knew it would be my sister's friend who would end up dying. All he did was open a door, and walk into the house first. The killer sat and waited for them. Did he look to see who he was shooting, or did he just shoot? He had no value for human life, having already taken it a week before on a killing spree across southern Wisconsin.

Yet the world keeps spinning. My life keeps moving. I still look forward to my husband's calls, letting me know my life is still the same. My small part in all of this is only to check in on my sister. She had just been with her friend a few days before he died. She took him out to dinner for his birthday. She looked forward to their re-kindled friendship. She spent hours on the phone talking about old days and future days. "What do you want to do next weekend?"

When my sister-in-law Tabitha died 4 years ago, I was an outsider watching a family in pain. I didn't get to be included. She wasn't my family. I didn't heal well because I didn't feel I was allowed to grieve. So my life kept moving. I got pregnant with Hunter around that time. I looked forward to the new life God gave me, and buried my grief. It wasn't mine to have. Since then I've allowed myself to feel that pain and acknowledge that I lost someone, too. I lost an old friend that I could have had a future with, even if our past was clouded with jealousy and anger. Instead of past memories, I lost future ones. And although I'm still amazed at how quickly her husband moved on, no one else in the family has moved on. It's as if they are waiting for Tabitha to come back and pick up where she left off. Halloween night, trick or treating with her daughter, she'll be back.

I think my sister's friends will be waiting for their son and brother to come back for a long time, too. When you are with them and smiling and laughing one second, and they are gone in the next, your world doesn't get to keep moving. Your world stops.

**Craig Finley, died November 6, 2008. For full story, read HERE.