Thursday, May 08, 2008

Looking "Forward" to Father's Day

Yes I am a Mother, and by default "Mother's Day" is a day for me. However, we're not "celebrating" my mommy-hood this year. And yes, I'm being stubborn. I have no husband here to run and get me my donuts when he wakes up at 6:00 am. I have no husband to take the Chaos Kids out and buy me all sorts of the little trinkets they like to buy me. So nope, no Mother's Day this year. Besides the fabulous homemade gifts I know the kids made me, it's just a regular day in my house.

We are, however, looking "forward" to Father's Day. We want to make sure this Father's Day is special for Daddy. Even if he's 7000 miles away! Last night the kids and I met up with some of the families in our family support group to make Father's Day cards. Everyone brought whatever arts & crafts supplies resided in their homes, laid it all out on a big long table, and let the kids have at it! They all made some really great cards and some of them (like Drew and Louisa) had time to make more than one.

We had a few moments where one little guy got emotional about making his daddy a card. He's 7 and this is the first time in his whole life his daddy has ever been away. He just doesn't understand. His daddy had never missed a birthday before, or Christmas, or Father's day. My kids are old hats at this by now, but for some it's new and this hurt in their heart is something new. We gave him lots of hugs and made sure his card was extra special! By the end he was running around with the kids and fighting with his brothers as usual.

I did have a bad-mommy moment, though, because I had to make the executive decision to leave Hunter's "card" there. It started out very nice, with some glitter glue and creative cutting. But when I came back to check on him it had turned into a giant glob of glue/glitter/sticker mess that was best left in big circular file (as my 6th grade teacher used to say). I will take the time with Hunter one on one to help him make a new card for Daddy before we mail the box. He's very creative, but he needs someone there helping him a little. Daddy has been impressed by all of Hunter's creations that we've sent him so far. He has all the artwork that the kids have sent him hanging on his wall, proudly displayed for his fellow soldiers to see and go, "Wow! Your kids are great artists!" and to which he'll nonchalantly reply, "Ya, I know".

I hope and pray that everyone enjoys their much earned Mommy Day! I feel I have Mother's Day every day because my kids are truly grateful for all I do for them as both Mother, and Father. I don't think I'm missing out on anything because I'm not pausing for one day to go out and eat. We do special things every day, as anyone who knows me well knows! I do have a friend who's spending her First Mother's Day alone and I feel it my personal duty to be her um.... "husband" for the day! Otherwise, the kids and I are are looking "forward" to Father's Day because someone very special to us doesn't get daddy hugs and kisses. He doesn't get to sleep in and have us make him a big breakfast, or take the kids fishing, or go to the zoo. He gets to put on his boots, put on the 80 pounds of "protective" gear, and the 40 pound ruck sack he is required to carry every day, pick up his M-16, walk out into the 110 degree Baghdad heat, slide behind the wheel of his Humvee, and do what he's done every day for the past 6 months. My job is make sure he's surrounded by the love of his children and his proud wife before he steps out of his room and starts his day. Not to worry about what I'm not getting, or what I don't get to do on Sunday, May 11th.


kateandjona said...

Hang in there, my friend! Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Just dropping by to check in on you. Thinking about you and praying for all of you.