Actually, what I really said was.... "AAHHHH!!!! There's a f***ing cockroach on me!!! Get it the F*** off!!!!!!!!!"
In the south it's inevitable that roaches will find their grubby, disgusting little ways into your house. No matter how spotless you keep it, they'll find a way in and they'll find something to eat. They'll go back and tell their nasty little friends, and they'll tell a friend and they'll tell a friend. Before you know it you've got Joe's Apartment right there in your living room. Ok, I've never really seen anyone have that many roaches and we only get one at a time here and there, but it's still gross.
Yesterday I had to wake up way too early for a Saturday to get ready for some Family Fun Military Appreciation day that we *had* to go to so that some mayor could make himself look good because he "supports the troops". So I am already not in a good mood. I step out of the shower, dry off, and grab my pants to pull them on. I feel something run up my arm. At first I figured it was a spider. We have several big, plump spiders running around here. I looked at my arm and saw some very large red legs running up it. A huge chill ran up my back and I kinda froze for a second. I brushed the red legged creature off and when it hit the floor it was the biggest roach I've ever seen. I mean, hugest, biggest, ugliest roach I have ever seen in my life. It ran under the towel I had plopped on the floor after my shower.
My whole body shook and I instantly freaked out. I yelled and cussed and screamed bloody murder. Very few things get that reaction out of me, so husband knew right away what was wrong. When he came in I told him to stomp on the towel because he had his boots on. Instead he picked up the towel and the roach ran under a crack at the base of the wall. No clue how they can do that. The crack wasn't even visible and he was a huge sucker.
The kids are still a little scared to use that bathroom. They keep the door open while they're in there. The fear will eventually die down. And they have nothing to be scared of, the roach wasn't crawling on them! Not sure how long the evil little beast had been in my pants, but it's disturbing. I had the creepy crawlies for a long time after.
Husband thinks it's funny that I was so afraid of a cockroach who really does nothing to harm people, but I wasn't afraid of a spider that could have been venomous. We have several species of venomous spider down here that we have to watch out for. I can't explain it, but cockroaches freak me out more than almost anything else in the world.
So, I dedicate this story to Earth Day and all of Mother Earth's nasty little beasties that we have to put up with.