Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I remember when I first heard The Byrds sing "Turn, Turn, Turn", I thought it was such a genius song. Then my mom pointed out a passage in the bible and I couldn't believe they were singing this passage! It's something I really try to remind myself of from time to time. There's a time for one thing, and then there are times for other things.
I have so many things changing in my life right now, and some I'm excited about and some I'm not. But today, this passage came back to me to remind me that there is a time and a place for everything.
Right now, my place is in Louisiana by my husband. I've only got one more week to go before I get to be there. In my rightful place. I'm anxious, and antsy, and I feel my time here has come to a close. I have family here, and they will be missed, but I'm something of a rolling stone. I need to go do something else now. I've been in one place for almost 4 years now. For many people that is a very short time, for me it's way too long. I need adventures, I need to be moving, I need to see new things and meet new people. I need to be with my husband after an agonizing 9 months apart. My children need their father who they cry for every night. "A time to plant, and a time to uproot."
I had a confrontation with a woman who is a virtual stranger to me on my beloved Club Mom message boards last night. I never stand up for myself, I never stick up for myself... I'm very weak when it comes to confronting people. People I know, people I don't know, it doesn't matter. But this one particular woman has pushed my buttons one too many times for months now and nothing is ever done about it. I have several loyal friends who stand up for me time and time again. But nothing is ever done by me. I sit idle and let this woman bully me. I am idle no more. The tamest animal in the world will lash out when cornered. I was cornered. I lashed out. I don't believe in telling people every little thing that you think is wrong with them. I don't believe in confronting them with every problem. Again, I'm weak. I'd rather take the brunt of their criticism and be wounded on the inside than let them know what I'm really thinking and hurt them in return. Like this message board woman. So last night, I finally told her what I really thought of her. Like, REALLY REALLY thought of her. I held nothing back. Did I feel better afterward? You bettcha!.... kinda..... well, after the high died down, I realized that I probably just really hurt someone's feelings. Then I felt like crap. That's when this verse came to me: "a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate" And this one: "a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them" , and I realized, it was time. It was time to tell her that she can't always get away with her surliness. Of course, then she had the nerve to tell me that she was disappointed a Christian woman would talk like that and that she'll pray for my tortured soul or something like that. I should have quoted this passage to her!
There should always have a balance. You can't have on thing without the other. No matter what it is. You can't have the good without the bad, you can't have the bad without the good. I'll have to see how many more things on that list I can check off. How many more things will change, how many more things will flip around and how many more surprises I'll get.


navywife6 said...

Peggie my dear friend, Kudos to you, I think the hardest thing in life is to stand up for YOURSELF. I mean its easy to defend our kids and husbands but ourselves...nope thats a tough one. Personally I am a bit tactless so I tend to shoot from the him then feel bad, but such is my cross to bear in life.

You be stong, and I hope you get lots more SUPRISES (all good) in life as those are what keep us YOUNG and SMILING. Hang in there sweetie and know that you are considered a HERO to many of us.


Anna said...

Ephesians 3:16-17

" pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,"

Whenever I doubt myself and I am afraid to stand up for what I believe in, I read Ephesians, especially above. Paul who wrote this book was a traveller, he could never stay in the one place but moved from town to town throughout his entire life from before his conversion at Damascus to right before his death.

Paul is saying that we take our home and our God everywhere with us wherever we are, and in everything we do.

Yes, Paul was a very strong forthright person, but he had many problems with himself and I have long suspected some self-esteem issues.

Paul would have said, you have done nothing wrong. You have spoken in DEFENSE not in ATTACK. You have not spoken with or in sin, but only out of love for your family and more importantly YOURSELF.

I was taught that the most unchristian thing someone can do is imply that another is unchristian like.

Anna said...

I have visited Club Mom and your CM message board a couple of times just to lurk I'm afraid, is it rude of me to ask which thread this was in? Just so I can read it and get all indignant about how some people think they can treat my buddy so badly!!;)

kateandjona said...

It was time, Peggie! "Everybody's best friend" had it coming - and remember, we've always got your back! Hugs!!!

Heather said...

Oh Peggie!!! I would NEVER think of you as mean or weak!! Just because you don't spout off every time you think it, or maybe should hardly makes you weak!!! Besides - you have made it through a strong ordeal - hubby gone and kids - so NEVER weak!!!
As for "the friend" = well, often one speaks in anger and often one speaks the truth in anger - if her feelings are hurt, I would wager you spoke the truth in anger (tough pill to swallow).
As for how you feel - look - you can only put-up and shut-up for so long!!! A friend is supportive above all and a friend can handle disagreeing and a Christian should pray for you reguardless of your tounge, not because of it - you can tell her I SAID SO ;P
Hugz to you~You go girl!!!

PS God didn't put us here to take crap - he gave us a mouth to speak and tell someone else to clean up their own shit!!!

Jen said...

Good for you! It's an empowering thing to start feeling that backbone, isn't it? Even if you feel bad for possibly hurting someones feelings, how many times has she done it to you? I;m proud of you! And honey, you are anything but weak! You are by far one of the strongest women I have the pleasure of knowing! As for the rest... the countdown has started! One more week!!! :)

Chaos Mommy said...

Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone! I love having this blog!!! :D

Anna, email me and I will give you the link
And no, it's not at all rude to ask!