Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I've come a long way

I have reached that point in my marriage where I can look at myself and say, Wow! I've come a long way! I have had an epiphany of sorts. It's still funny to me that I'm even married in the first place. I used to tell people I was never getting married. I mean, really, who needs a guy hanging around them ALL the time? I liked the fact that I had many guys to hang around me whenever I wanted. I got to have company or be alone as I chose. But now there's this guy here all the time and he never goes away!
I guess I kinda like that. I like that he's here when I need someone. I like that my best friend is right here in my house so I can be silly, or grumpy, or talk-a-tive and he still likes me. We've come to a point where things are easy. We work out our problems easily, we handle the kids easily... well, most of the time! And we talk easily.
It hasn't always been like this, though. I was thinking the other day about how much we used to struggle with each other. I fought him tooth and nail on everything when we first got married. I wanted things done my way, yet I don't have a very neat and tidy and organized way. My way is kinda like the messy, quick, get-it-done way. He has more order to his way. So my way wasn't better, I just wanted fight about it. I spent a lot of time making up things to fight about. Not sure why, or even where it came from. My parents had their fair share of fights, but it was usually over something plausible like money.
Through the past six and a half years I've learned to let a lot go. When we were first married, if he wanted to go out with the guys I'd throw a fit. I'd yell and scream and cry and he'd end up staying home. Or, if he went, I wouldn't speak to him and he'd have to work extra hard to get me to be happy again. That type of marriage is doomed to fail, and I knew I had to change.
Now I've learned to compromise. Let him go out for his poker nights and then I get more of what I want. If I do the give and take thing, our marriage works much better and both of us are happier. I don't really need girls time, and most of my "girls" are in the computer anyway! I can go out to lunch with friends, bring Hunter, and still have fun and get that release. But I can't drink, and I don't like partying much, so a girls night on the town type of thing doesn't appeal to me.
So recently I was thinking about how far we've come, or more importantly, how far I've come. A good marriage is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but it's worth it. Husband is a good friend who I can talk to about anything.
Now, in the next six years I hope to be able to get this cleaning thing down!


Elle said...

They say nothing good comes easy. I've been with my dh for 15 years, almost 9 of them married. I remember the way-backs too and think "wow and here we are!"

Nice to meet you! You've got a great blog!

Sandy said...

All good things take a little work to achieve. Congrats on the growth and the great marriage.

Anonymous said...

When you get that cleaning thing down, let me know how you did it.

kateandjona said...

Good post, Peggie!