Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Colonoscopy's aren't fun

Yesterday was my colonoscopy. Not fun.
I couldn't drink the golytely on Monday that was supposed to clear out my system. It was so awful! The nurse at the doc's office told me to mix Crystal Light in with it. Ok, did that. Now it's going to be a LONG time before I drink lemonade again. I can't even think about lemonade! I got about 1/3 of the golytely down and threw it up. Then I tried to force myself to drink it and kept getting nauseous. Nope, couldn't drink any more.
We went to the hospital yesterday and they weren't too thrilled that I couldn't drink the stuff, but they were nice about it. It just meant more prep for them. Well, we won't get in to that. Let's just say, if you're a nurse, no, the patient's husband REALLY does NOT want to be there for the "prep". No, you don't need to insist that he can stay. The patient and her husband would like to have sex again some day, and he doesn't need that image running through his head.
Husband did come back in while I was waiting for the anaesthesiologist, though. He had Hunter with him, and Hunter kept looking at me like he'd never seen me before. He wasn't smiling at me. He was just sitting there staring at me in my cute little hospital gown. I know what it was, I was about 10 pounds lighter after all that "prep", so he just didn't recognize me!
When the nurse came in to stick my IV into me, husband told Hunter this was payback for all the times I took him to the doctor to get shots. I told the nurse I don't have any good veins in my hands, but that didn't stop him. He kept trying to stick my hand anyway. I understand that you have to start down and work your way up, but the patient probably knows their veins better than the nurse does. He couldn't stick the vein he was trying to get. Now I have a big blue bruise on my hand. But at least Hunter found it funny and finally started smiling at me! He was laughing at the scrunched up faces I was making.
The anaesthesiologist came in and just stuck his sleepy juice right into my IV. I told husband last night that the last thing I remember was waving to him and Hunter as they walked out the door. Husband laughed so hard and said "Really, you remember me walking out the door? That's funny because I left the room AFTER you did! I held the door while they wheeled you out!" Weird. I clearly remember husband and Hunter leaving the room and me waving at them. I wonder if I was just waving and they were all giggling at me for waving at the air.
45 min later I woke up. They threw my clothes at me and I was in a wheelchair faster than you could say "colonoscopy"! Wait, don't I get a complimentary sandwich for starving myself for a day and a half?! It's such a strange and awful feeling knowing that I was so deep in sleep that someone put a camera where a camera needn't go.
In the end, it all boils down to IBS. All that, and it's just IBS. That's probably why the Zelnorm has been working so well to control the pain and such. I do have actual pain meds now in case those severe stomach pains come back. And I have to make a drastic diet change, which won't be all that bad.
At least it's over and done with and hopefully I won't have to face that nightmare again for a very long time.
On a good note, one of the nurses asked how long my husband had been in the army. I told her almost 10 years and her jaw hit the floor. She couldn't believe we were "that old"! She told me she wouldn't have placed us more than 19 or 20! Husband was still smiling about that this morning.


Amber said...

Sorry that you had to go through that, but atleast there are some solid answers now... I hope you don't have to do that again!

~jen said...

I'm glad you're finally getting some answers! Hopefully things will be back under control, and you'll start feeling a lot better:) And 19 or 20? Nice! I'm thankful for anyone who thinks I might be under 25!