I'm not an offensive person. At least I don't think I am. I'm curious. I ask a lot of questions. I'm like that 4 year old who asks "Why?" 100 times on the drive to the grocery store. Except that I'm 29, not 4. So, I guess that sometimes my questions can get annoying, but I don't usually offend people. I'm not malicious, or mean in my intentions.
Lately I've found out that, for some reason, it's offensive to ask someone if their husband is deployed. I'm not really sure why. I would assume that being on an army base, we are all in the same boat. We all go through deployments, we all go without our husbands and wives for months and years at a time.
Incidentally, I added up once just how much time I've been without my husband. Including training, we've been apart for half of our 6 1/2 year marriage. So really, we're all the same down here. Just because mine isn't gone right now, doesn't mean he hasn't been, and doesn't mean he won't be in the furture.
Last night, while I'm at the bowling alley with Louisa and her student council group, I sit next to one of her classmate's mom and chat with her. The lady mentions, several times, how her husband isn't around right now. I say, very innocently, "Is he deployed?"
"NO!!" she snaps at me. Then she explains that he's going to a special army school right now, but the rest of his unit is deployed.
I said, "Oh good, you guys missed out on this deployment then!"
"NO!!!" she snaps. "Then he goes to Korea!" Ok.... I didn't know I was asking something that required a snappy answer. I felt really stupid for even mentioning it.
This has happened to me before. I ask, Is your husband deployed, and I receive a snappy, NO! So apparently, you're not supposed to ask someone if their husband is deployed. But then why o why did this woman keep mentioning how hard things were for her with two kids and a job while her husband was gone? Am I supposed to ignore that she keeps bringing that up?
Me, being the overly-nice person I am, always has to inquire and then give sympathy. Sometimes it results in my foot being inserted into my mouth. Other times it results in people following me around telling me their sob story over and over beause if I was sympathetic once, I'll probably be sympathetic again.
I just can't win, can I? (oh wait, that was another question. see, I told you I ask a lot of questions!)