Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Memoirs of a Softball Coach: Watch Your Kids Play, For Crying Out Loud!

All these games we've played so far I sit and watch the parents and I think, would you watch the frickin game! These girls are out there playing their butts off and the parents are at social time over there on the side lines! Is it time to chit chat about your where you get your nails and hair done, or time to watch your little girl field the ball? Is it time to brag about your truck, or time to watch your hardworking girl hit and run to first?
Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic about this. Maybe they are watching and I'm just not IN on the conversation so I feel a little left out. After all, the coach is expected to actually WATCH the entire game, beginning to end! The coach can't sit and yammer on and on about the features on her cell phone or who gives the best pedicures in the city. Oh no, us coaches are cheering and watching and hugging sad girls who just struck out. Us coaches are telling the girls to stand up in the outfield, it's not time to pick grass!
(to girls in outfield) Get the ball, it's coming to you! See, you weren't ready because you were picking grass! Now throw it to first, no, FIRST! THROW IT TO FIRST!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO.... that is not first, that is.... not even a base... why in the world would you throw the ball to the left fielder?! That's not even a base! Ok, it's ok, we'll get 'em next time, girls! You're doing good!!!
(to mom who just asked me a question) What, oh, um, I don't get my hair done, I just let it grow until it annoys me and then once a year I get it cut. Ya, once a year, I know that's kind of...
(yelling to outfield) Go girls, get the ball!! SECOND BASE THIS TIME, SECOND BASE!!! NO NO NO.... that was... third base... It's ok!! We'll get 'em next try!!!

Fastforward to son's t-ball game where I do not coach, but am a mere spectator cheering on my little boy:
(talking to mom who is admiring my baby) Yes, I know, he's so good natured and always happy... (to son who just hit the ball) Go Drew, run run run!!! Good hit!! (back to other mom) You're baby is so cute too, I love her big dark eyes! She must get those from her daddy! Oh, what a little cutey, wootey, sweety, weetey, pie....
(Drew to me) Mom, did you see me, did you see me?
(Me to Drew) Yup, uh huh...
(me to baby) what a little pretty princess, you're momma's little girl aren't you....

Ok , so I'm a hypocrit, what can I say!!

1 comment:

Jen said...

Too true!
We all have to be social but you are keeping an eye on the game. You didn't miss anything!